I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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