i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
