I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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