you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
