How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry about my life...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
