I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
