remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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