My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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