Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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