I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
