Tell her she can't have a vagina
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
But theres a keg here and me gusta
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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