so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
