so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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