It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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