If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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