Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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