i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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