So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
