is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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