i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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