we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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