How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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