oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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