Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize