dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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