I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize