He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
