I hope mine doesn't look like that
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize