Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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