meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize