Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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