its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
