to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
