Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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