went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
