Got a toothbrush?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
