She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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