If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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