you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
