sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
May the power of my ass compel you!!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
