Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
