The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
