Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
