if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
