i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just threw up on my dentist
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
