So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
