He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
