don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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