my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
kristin has been a bad kristin
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
