last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
