quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
