Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
