Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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