if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
