Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
