If you die in college, do you die in real life?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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