She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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