Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize