i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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