what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
