it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
