this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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