Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
