please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
