In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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