Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
