so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
