I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
