I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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