At least make sure they are 18
Why
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
