Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
