i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
