So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
