he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
