I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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