Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize