NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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