She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
