Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
