guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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